Basic Sexual Skills I Believe Everyone Should Have

 

I've also discovered that the people who rock in bed aren't always the ones we anticipate. It turns out that those who are good at sex aren't young, beautiful, or especially flexible. People with skills—not mystical knowledge or degrees in the sciences, just fundamental knowledge that they have studied and put into practice—are the real winners. The following are my top five sex techniques for being a great lay. Japanese Sex Movies

1. Do not forget that we are all winging it. Are you afraid of sharing your nakedness with someone? The good news is that your date likely shares your sentiments. We were sitting in a Melbourne cocktail bar sampling drinks when I went on my first Tinder date in a while (I've been busy, don't judge me!) and I realized how nervous I still got when meeting new people, despite years of practice. I admitted to him, "I felt really anxious coming here tonight." Me too, I was terrified, he said in return. My concerns disappeared after we had an open discussion about how nerve-wracking first dates can be. The same rule holds true for bars serving cocktails as it does for sex. I constantly remind myself that everyone feels the same way whenever I begin to feel out of my element. We're all frightened. We're all hesitant. We're all concerned about saying or acting inappropriately. Most likely, your partner experiences the same anxiety as you do in the bedroom.

2. Reduce speed: It's easy to assume that the purpose of sex is merely to get off. However, if we rush to the orgasm part, we miss out on a lot of other enjoyable activities. Even worse, trying to rush causes us to frequently get sidetracked from our current task. You might not be fully focused on the task at hand if you're replaying the conversation you had over dinner in your head or worrying about whether you'll piss off your partner. On my podcast, I recently spoke with Frankie, a Tantra expert. She provided some straightforward techniques for achieving mindfulness in any situation, including slowing down, taking a deep breath, and looking your partner in the eyes. It only takes a few seconds, but it enables you to disengage from your thoughts and focus on your body. Additionally, it fosters a sense of connection with your date so that you stay in touch. Try it. You'll see what I mean when you watch.

3.0 Touch with intention greatly affects how we touch other people's bodies. If you are not paying attention, you might touch your partner in an inappropriate way—a grabby, tense touch rarely feels good. When I encounter someone who hasn't had much experience or hasn't had sex in a while at work, I notice this the most frequently. They occasionally get so excited that they try to do everything at once. It just doesn't feel right to be tickled when you really want to be hugged! On the other hand, one slow, deliberate touch from a relaxed lover can make me shiver. Confident, seductive contact results from concentrating on your hands as you touch someone and imagining how you want them to feel.

4. to ask questions. Everyone is unique. Everybody has different preferences for their bedroom. And since we can't read minds, how can we possibly know how to please our partners without asking? Occasionally asking your partner, "How does that feel?" gives them the opportunity to offer advice about what they like or, if you're doing something particularly well, to compliment you. It's the only way we can be sure we're doing it correctly. Sometimes my workshop participants worry that talking during sex will ruin the mood when I suggest this to them. But things needn't turn out that way. If done correctly, whispering "How does that feel?" in someone's ear can be seductive, intimate, and totally appropriate. Of course, there are times when we worry that if we ask, someone will tell us that we're acting improperly. But wouldn't it be better to find out now rather than later if she doesn't like that helicopter move you're doing with your dick?

5. Abandon the script. We generally perform sex in a pretty mundane manner. For heterosexual people, it usually involves kissing, touching, stripping off, oral sex, intercourse, and orgasm. This is what we refer to as the "standard script" in movies (and porn). Every time we get laid, the majority of us stick to the script because it is secure and dependable. Unfortunately, being predictable can become monotonous, and when you repeatedly use the same moves, your brain has a propensity to become inactive. As we previously discussed, that is a losing scenario.

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